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Privates free action gameWhen you think of "it" as all awesome and a pleasant feeling that's all squishy and tingly and what-have-you, it sounds brilliant. But if you're not careful about how you go about it, you can get some gunk in your trunk which at worst can completely screw up your insides. Delightful!

Thank the STARS then for John "Jack" Sterling, worn-down Captain of the oh-so-useless 'Foxtrot Squad'. It's up to you to take charge and lead your squad in and around people's private parts, clearing them of all manner of pesky and dangerous critters, oozes and bosses.

Blast away at various different enemies in all sorts of crazy, sometimes fragrant, locations!

Fully-voiced, funny, silly script!

Five whole levels!

Bit rude!

You know how you wouldn't write a history essay based on your experiences playing a World War II shooter? Well, Privates is a bit like that - while the action takes place in and around peoples' parts, the anatomy is in no way biologically accurate. We've had to make loads of concessions in order to make the game fun to play. There's still loads of important stuff to take from Privates. Just be sensible about which bits, eh?

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